vulnerability in networking
My story of vulnerability and networking is one that might surprise you. I switched schools my sophomore year of high school and never felt like I truly fit in. I was that girl who was sort of part of a lot of social groups, but not really a part of any of them. I was just enough on the inside that it was glaringly obvious when I was being excluded. I remember this feeling intimately. Being left out, not liked, not seen… it left me feeling extremely vulnerable, hurt, and wondering what was wrong with me. For years, I allowed myself to get close to people, but not too close, because I didn’t want to be rejected. I put up guards and swore off vulnerability as a means to protect myself from rejection - beginning a self-fulfilling prophecy of inner lonliness while also being constantly surrounded by people.
Fast forward to 2012 when I moved to Kansas City, where the only people I knew were my parents. Overwhelmed by anxiety and loneliness, I decided I couldn’t have what I truly wanted unless I made a change. Enter my "Yes Year" – a period of overcoming fears and creating the life of my dreams. In that year, I embraced every opportunity that came my way – dates, playing sports, going to the gym, trying new foods, going out on a Wednesday night, making new friends, changing my career, and, yes – Networking.
What unfolded was a revelation that would reshape my life:
There's nothing wrong with me.
I do belong.
Everyone else is just as scared.
Authenticity, though vulnerable, is immensely rewarding.
In networking, vulnerability might seem like an unlikely ally. However, embracing vulnerability can be a catalyst for building genuine connections, trust, and discovering opportunities that go beyond the surface. Undoubtedly, some of you will read the word vulnerability and cringe - viewing it as potential weakness and being too exposed to those around you. Vulnerability can challenge your idea of safety, which is why trust and discernement are important skills to develop in tandem. And, this is evidence that networking is not just exchanges of business cards and small talk, but truly an opportunity for personal growth, but more on that later. ;)
Networking is often seen through the lens of polished LinkedIn profiles and surface-level elevator pitches, but its true magic happens when we peel back the layers. Vulnerability becomes the key to breaking down barriers and fostering authentic connections. It's not about divulging your entire life story upon first meeting someone; it's about being open to sharing beyond the superficial.
Authenticity is magnetic. When you bring your true self into interactions, you create a space for others to do the same. Sharing genuine experiences opens doors for meaningful conversations that go beyond business transactions, creating true community and opportunities. It’s not just about showcasing successes; it's a shared journey of growth and learning. Opening up about failures and setbacks transforms networking into a collaborative exchange of wisdom and experience, fostering lifelong friendships, mentorships, sponsorships, and opportunities.
The fear of judgment or rejection often hinders vulnerability, as it did (and still does) for me. However, embracing vulnerability liberates you from this fear. Sharing vulnerabilities isn't a weakness; it's a display of strength, courage, and trust in others and yourself.
To bring it full circle, I now feel truly seen and appreciated for who I am. I have community. I have true friends. I experience belonging, although truthfully, still not everywhere. But, what I’ve found is that when I consistently push myself outside of my comfort zone, good things happen. I meet new, interesting people, my world-view expands, I learn new things about myself and others, I experience life more fully, and ultimately, I find true belonging. This is available for you too!
#youbelong