"She's laid back - go with the flow - no schedule - no worries - she's a YES person. She's the kind of girl that forgets her phone in the cabin, drinks out of coconuts, and climbs all over rocks in the Bahamas. She's the kind of girl that hikes through San Francisco and writes her name in the sand, explores old trails, and eats strange food. She's the kind of girl that makes new friends in swimming pools and laughs when she gets caught in the rain...again."Read More
I am the Queen of doing it all. Seriously, guys.
In my business, I am the Founder-President-CEO-HR Director-Accountant-Business Developer-Chief Marketing Officer-Servicer-Financial Advisor-Public Speaker-Educator-everything elser. In the community I'm running Underground Social as the Incoming President, Current Vice President, Secretary, and part of Marketing while thinking I probably need to join a couple more organizations because I love my city and want to help more people. In my personal life, I am planning a wedding (18 days!), a 15-day Thailand honeymoon, being a kickass fiance and full time bonus-mom. I'm managing calendars, attempting to eat healthy, and trying to get in shape for the impending wedding while also preparing for my best friend's wedding this summer. Oh, and we have an Airbnb and 3 dogs.
I was built for this shit. I mean, seriously, I was born to be my own boss (I was literally born on National Boss's Day) and to empower women and to speak in public and to do all of the things. But every once in awhile, it gets to be too much. The infamous burn out starts to show ugly face, and shit gets hard.
Now, let me be clear - I am in no way doing it all alone. Not even a little bit. I have a support system that people would kill for. I have an awesome assistant at work, wonderful role models, mentors, advocates, and sponsors in my career, amazing board members who are always willing to go the extra mile, an incredibly handsome and laid back future husband who reminds me to breathe every now and then, the best mom in the world, and countless friends & family who are uber supportive and will drop everything when I need them.
But, some days it's just too much. Every now and then, I just don't want to "do the things." These are the days I question WHY do I do all of this? Is it REALLY worth it in the end? Am I truly making a difference? Why don't I ever choose the easy way? Why can't I eat all of the potatoes and cheese and wine that I want and never get fat? Why does Parker ask SO many questions? Will I always have to & want to work this hard to get what I want?
I think we all have days like this. I know that the people closest to me do. But, as I've said before, I was blessed with THE WORLD'S BEST mentors. One, specifically, who taught me that bad days happen to everyone, but what separates you from the rest is how you deal with it.
Here are TWO pro tips for picking yourself up when you're down.
1. 24 Hours - That's all you get. 24 hours of feeling sorry for yourself, sitting on the couch with a bag of popcorn and a box of wine, crying for no reason, and genuinely believing that your world is ending. Feel it, eat it, drink it, cry it out, throw a fit, binge watch Grey's Anatomy, whatever else you need to do - for 24 hours. After that, it's time to move on to number 2.
2. Take Action - This is the hardest part. When you're feeling your worst, taking action seems impossible. Moving from that indented spot on the couch is especially painful when your eyes are puffy and you'e feeling like everything is "pointless and stupid" (literally words I've used to describe my down days). Just pick something. Make a commitment that you are going to do something today to make tomorrow better. There are 2 rules: 1) It has to be for you, 2) It has to be an action. Some ideas might include - making a phone call you've been putting off, going for a walk, meditating, journaling, calling a friend (your problems get smaller when you share them with someone), scheduling a massage, saying affirmations, going to the gym, etc. Start small.
There's one stipulation, though - once you take one action, you have to take another one, and another one, and then another one after that. It might take a couple of days to truly feel like yourself again, but I promise you - it really is as simple as taking action. But, actions don't work if just done once. Success is a cumulative effort of a lot of small efforts.
That's it, folks. Seriously. That's what I do. And then, I go to dinner with my friends, have a glass (or two) of wine, and talk it out.
You are allowed to feel like shit. You are allowed to feel it, and to cry and to be irrational, and to wish and want, and to eat and drink, and to take a mother f#@*ing break every now and then... for up to 24 hours. Then, it's time to get back on the saddle, and JUST. DO. SOMETHING. No one expects you to be perfect - you are the only one demanding that from yourself.
Lastly, another quick pro tip... if you've taken your 24 hours, and you've taken action (or are having an especially hard time doing so), and you still feel like you need more, TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL! There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help. Life is tough. We are constantly pulled in 1,000+ directions, all while dealing with divorce, death, uncertainty, feelings from the past, etc, and expected to look good while doing it. We can't be expected to do it all alone. TALK TO SOMEONE.
Proven ways to take action:
3. Massage, Float Tank
5. Move your body - go for a walk, go to the gym, yoga,
6. Read a book/Listen to a podcast
7. Go out with friends
8. Write someone a note/letter
9. Volunteer, give back, pay it forward
10. Talk to a professional
What are some things you do when you're feeling down? Share!!
"I learned about the "boom & bust" mentality. I lost a grandparent. I let fear get the best of me more times than I would like to admit. I pumped the brakes when I should have been hitting the gas. I cried. I tried to do Whole 30, and only made it 13 days. I didn't travel like I wanted to. I stressed about money. I stressed about stress. I stressed about being stressed about stress. I had a short fuse with the people I love the most. I let the voices of others influence my own behavior. I made excuses. I froze. I forgot to laugh. I was too busy to play."Read More
what I gather from all of the information above is this: we're doing something wrong. We are not educating people about the long & short-term impacts of important life choices. We are missing an opportunity to educate and empower women to take personal responsibility and advocate for themselves. Money is not everything, but it is critically important in our experience of life, and our relationship with the world around us.Read More